My Everything
by Lavender888
Summary: Now that the quest of the Ring is over, Frodo is feeling terribly lonely in Hobbiton. The only one who could heal his hearth will soon get married. What could he possibly do? A romantic story with different POV.
1. Chapter1: Desperation

**Hi everyone! This is a romantic story about Frodo and Sam. I have always liked those two characters and I imagined a love story between then. Tell me what you think about it** **! Also, this is my first story in English so there may be some spelling errors (sorry in advance!) You can correct me, but please be kind ^_^ I can't wait to hear your comments for this story. Enjoy 3 3**

 **POV- Frodo**

It had been a month now since I was back in Hobbiton. Everything, from the its traditional meals to its peaceful plains looked the same, smelled the same, and tasted the same.

But, yet, everything felt different. I wasn't the innocent Hobbit I once were. Those hurts had been too far for me to enjoy life like I did before. There were so deep that they had spoiled my soul. I was surrounded by flashbacks and nightmares. Those horrid images were following me everywhere, chasing me in my sleep, making me feel stressed and depressed every minute, every second. I felt like a stranger in my own village, my own skin and my own life. There was no going back.

For the first week, my best friend Sam had been staying with me at home to help. He was the only one who had notice that I wasn't well. It was very nice having him with me. I always have liked his presence, his smile, his voice. We didn't need to talk that much. After that last year, fighting for each other, saving one another and almost dying together, he touched a piece of my soul. When those nightmares would trouble me at night, I sometimes looked at him sleeping and took his hand. I felt serener, happier and a bit eager to touch him more. Then, I would go back to sleep and dream peacefully. He gradually became the only one who kept me alive. He took good care of me and I started getting better. But, eventually, he had to leave to take care of his own things and my state just deteriorated.

And I missed him so much. I've always remember having a little crush on him, but it didn't matter back then. But now, after all we'd been through, I realised that he was the bravest Hobbit I had ever encounter. He had been so loyal, so kind and patient. I loved him. I loved so much. But, he liked girls didn't he? He could never love me back…or would he change his mind?

Only time would tell…

Tonight, I was attending a party to celebrate Merry's birthday. I wasn't sure I wanted to come. Feeling lonely in crowded place was my new burden. But since Sam would be there, I decided to go anyway. As I walked down the hill to reach the bar, I suddenly heard his voice calling my name.

\- Mr Frodo! You're joining us for the party? he said walking towards me.

His suit was light blue which match his blond curly hair and revealed his strong shoulders. He looked handsome. Really, handsome. I blushed, glad that the dark was hiding it.

\- Yes, I said with a tender smile.

\- I'm glad you are, he responded, his beautiful eyes shining in the night.

I just started at his face. His features were making me feel safe and grounded.

\- I wonder, Mr Frodo, he said, you don't look so well these days. You always look pensive like if something was bothering your mind. Is there anything I could do?

I was touched. He was the only one who had noticed and had the courage to ask. He always had been the one. My love, my soul.

\- No. It's okay Sam. It's nothing you can fix, I said putting my hand on his shoulder, but I'm very grateful you asked.

He smiled tenderly at me without putting my hand away. I looked into his eyes and felt so secure.

\- Anything you want, Mr. Frodo. Just ask and I'll take care of it, he softly said.

I lost myself in his gaze. His hair was getting longer and making curls around his neck. So much I wanted to run my fingers in it. Feelings of shame suddenly caught me. I removed my hand and walked on. What would he think of me if he knew what was running in my head right now?

We walked in silence for a few minutes. I didn't know what to say. I was lost in thoughts.

\- You dressed up for tonight? I finally said.

\- Yes, he said embarrassed, well, I, hum, I thought that maybe she'll notice me. You know?

My hearth sunk at his words.

\- Rosie? I asked.

\- Well, yeah. I was sure she had a husband by the time I was back in Hobbiton, but it appears she doesn't. Maybe she'll be glad to see me again. Don't you think Mr. Frodo?

I felt as if a million spikes would have pierce my throat at the same time. I kept my head down to hide my tears.

\- Oh I'm sure she will Sam…. I said, controlling the break in my voice.

We arrived there. This night was going to be horrible.

It had been nearly 3 hours they were flirting near the bar. I hid my pain as best as I could. Drinking beer, being cheerful and laughing at Merry and Pipin's jokes. I was fine. Everything was fine. No big deal right? Yeah right… We'd order way too many beer.

\- …And then I took my sword and slayed the Orc. I wasn't as hard as it seems…

\- Hum, hum! No. This is when you RAN AWAY and a man slayed the Orc!

Pipin was trying to impress a lady by narrating his adventures, but Merry was disputing the facts. A year ago, I would have found it hilarious, but, as usual, I felt apart. I drank again as I watch Sam try to take Rosie's hand. It was clumsy and she laugh. If only he could have took my hand instead. If only he could have place his fingers into mine… I felt as if my hearth was slowly cracking up and falling into small pieces… So much I wanted to die.

Merry snapped his fingers in my face.

\- Heyyy dude! Stop looking at them. You're ruining the thing! She's going to think his best friend's a creep!

\- And we don't want to ruin Thaaatttt thing you knowww? Pipin said.

They were both completely drunk. I had enough of that.

\- No, I wasn't watching that much. I just want to make sure everything's fine, I said as my face went slightly red. Was it that obvious?

\- Oh come on. He looks more than fine and if you want to make sure he stays that way, Stop. Looking. Their. Way. Merry said, his eyes widely opens as if I was an idiot.

\- Frodo may I present you Hannah? Said Pipin as he pointed at the girl next to them. She can't wait to hear the heroic journey you've been…

Sam and Rosie were leaving. They were going in the backyard. He took her hand again and opened the door. That's it. He was going to propose. I couldn't stand it anymore. I wanted to be alone. I didn't want to be there when he would come back and tell how wonderful his evening had been. I wouldn't be able to hold my tears when he would announced that she had said yes. Who wouldn't want to marry a guy like him?

\- Hum, I think I'll be leaving, I said standing up.

\- oHH, come one ! Not now?

\- Are you serious? Why? Hannah is waiting for your stories!

They were both protesting, but I didn't hear them anymore. I was already far away. I ran to my house as fast as I could. I didn't care if people noticed me. I didn't want to give them enough time to question me. I didn't want to explain myself anymore. No one would have understand. The only one who could ever do was giving up on me. What was live worth living for?

I was in sweat when I finally arrived. I slammed the door, locked it firmly and threw my jacket on the floor. I sat down by the fire. I was warm and comforting just like my love, but didn't dry my tears. Those flames dancing in his eyes, those flames burning my hearth. I wanted them to consume me entirely. I wanted them to bury me away from Middle Earth. Turn me the ashes so I could fly free. Slowly, I approached my hand form the fireplace. The warm was starting to hurt, but never as much as those cuts in my hearth. And then, it hit me.

I wasn't meant to live in this life anymore. I should have died in Mordor. I was destined to take this quest and I did, but I was also destined to die and I didn't. My great sorrow, Sam getting married, these were all signs that I was left out. It wasn't the first time I've considered that option.

Swiping my tears, I stood up and slowly walked into the kitchen. Looking by the window, I started at my beautiful hometown. Lanterns were illuminating the hills in a soft, almost magic light. Trees were gently swaying into the breeze and the small rain. I could hear some laughter from a distance. Everything was peaceful, quiet and serene. So became my state of mind.

\- Goodbye Hobbiton, I murmured.

I took a knife from the utensil drawer and put it on the table. It was the most sharpened one. I sat in front of it and placed the blade on my forearm. I waited, hesitating. Maybe Sam didn't proposed after all? Anyway, if he didn't tonight, he would do it later. He didn't care about my feelings. I was a burden for him since the day we've met. Tears started filling my eyes again. I cut my skin. I couldn't impose him to live with me. I couldn't force him to love me in that way. I cut again, deeper this time. I was a stock in the past, left out. Forever isolated, misunderstood. I belonged to the world of death. Blood was now spilling all over my sleeves, but I didn't kept me from hurting myself again. On my right wrist that time.

\- Oucchh!

The pain was excruciating, but didn't care no more. Those wounds on my hearth were so painful I could feel them bleed even harder.

Red. Red was flowing everywhere. I felt dizzy. Was I sitting or laying down?

\- I love you Sam, I murmured as I vanished into the dark.


	2. Chapter2: Revelation

**POV- Sam**

We were in the gardens. The wind was softly blowing into Rosie's long curly hair. We had refuged under a small tent due to the rain. Despite the dark, I could see the sparkles in her eyes, but I didn't hold her gaze. I felt somewhat uncomfortable. I didn't understand. I have waited for that night for so long. All the time, I wanted to talk to her and made up it would be amazing. Everything was perfect. We had talk. She was nice and funny. She admired my courage. Did I had too much expectations? She was very pretty. I could tell. But, that beauty didn't create those butterflies and sweaty palms I have expected. I had even tried to hold her hand to see if it would made me feel something, anything that seemed like love…

\- I'm so glad you came back to me, Sam… she said getting closer to me.

\- I'm sorry Rosie, I said, suddenly looking at her face.

\- What do you mean Sam? she confusedly asked.

Disappointment was showing all over her face.

\- I owe you honesty. We had a wonderful night and you are amazing, really, but…

\- It's okay, she said with a broken voice, I understand. I get it.

I could see she was trying hard to repress her tears. Men, I felt like the most horrible person on Middle Earth. I didn't know what to say to would make it right.

\- I'm terribly sorry Rosie. Can I accompany you to your house?

\- No, that's fine. Just leave Sam, she said in a low voice with her eyes closed and her arms crossed.

\- There must be something I could do to…

\- No. Just leave me alone. Please.

I sigh deeply. I was such a fool to imagine she was the one without even trying. I had imagined our whole relationship without reality check. And now, I had ended up hurting her feelings.

\- I'm so sorry Rosie, I said again.

And I walked away.

This evening had been a disaster. Nothing went as planned. I always have figured out it would work out. I thought those feelings would somewhat _transfer_ to her. She was a beautiful girl and so, I was supposed to feel for her. But, instead…Will I ever admit it to myself?

Yes, this girl was cute, but it was nothing compared to him. Frodo. No matter how hard I have tried, he was always on my mind. Every time Rosie and I would hold each other's hands or compliment each other, I wished I'd be him instead. I figured out that maybe time would make it right. I tried so many times to erase all these feelings with somebody else's face in my head. I would convince myself it was fine. But then, seeing his beautiful smile would make me realise it was impossible. His deep blue eyes were an ocean I couldn't stop drowning myself in. He was so handsome, courageous and smart. Every time I would hold him my arms, I wished I could never let go. He was a piece a me. He was my love, my soul, my everything. But, he could never love me back the way I did.

My thoughts were stopped by footsteps coming by quickly.

\- Mr. Sam! cried a young blond haired girl. She looked in panic. Something was wrong. A boost of adrenaline rushed into my veins.

\- Who are you? What it is? I asked, trying to stay calm.

She could barely breathe. She looked in state of shock.

\- I…I found your master! Oh my! Oh my god!

She felt to her knees and drown into tears. My hearth literally stopped when I realised her hands were covered with blood.

-! What happened?!

She was fold in half, almost hyperventilating. I stepped on my knees and took her by the shoulders.

\- Please young girl…Tell me what happened. I need to know…, I slowly said. I was surprised at how calm I was considering my hearth that was almost coming out of my chest.

\- There was an open window outside his house, she finally breathed between sobs, I saw him falling down. I entered by the window to help and…and…

\- And what? I said, in panic. I could felt my heartbeats getting crazy fast.

\- He was dead, she said as she burst into tears again.

No. No that was impossible. Who could ever want to do this in Hobbiton? The war was over. That made absolutely no sense.

\- No. No, no, no, no, I mumbled, that's impossible. Who attacked him? Who did this?

\- There was no one in the house, she whispered, his wrist were cut. I put bandages around it to stop the bleeding, but he didn't woke up.

-But, there must be someone….

I had a realisation. He didn't seem so well these days. He didn't talk much. He turned down invitations. He isolated himself. Even during tonight's party, I noticed he looked pensive and sad. Could it be… him? A flush of shame caught me. I should have come to check on him if everything was alright. I was so mad at the same time. I could he ever think I could live without him? How could he leave me behind?

I ran to his house as fast as I could. My legs were shakings so hard I was afraid they would give up on me.

I couldn't believe my love had done that to himself. He was lying here on his bed, twilight dancing on his beautiful face. I quietly kneeled before him and looked at his peaceful expression. My hand slowly reach his cheek and caressed it. It was still warm and delicate.

\- Mr. Frodo, please wake up. Please, look at me, I said as my voice broke with this unbearable pain stuck in my chest. My hand was now running through his curls.

I couldn't repress my feelings. I wanted him to opens his eyes and tell me he was alright. I wanted him to tell me someone else did it, I wanted him to tell me he'd stay with me forever. I felt so powerless.

-My love, my dearest Frodo, please look at me.

He didn't move, didn't opened his eyes, still asleep. His face was so white. I took his wrist in my hand and looked at those ugly cuts as I felt water filling up my eyes.

\- Mr. Frodo, why?

I brushed my fingers on the wounds, wishing I could magically heal them with my tears. I couldn't watch it anymore. Stuck between rage and despair, I buried my face in his chest.

\- Why did you do that my love? I whispered between sobs. I love you so much, you know…I love you. I was such a fool never to tell you…I should have told you…

I couldn't live without him. I couldn't bear a day knowing that I would never see his smile again. After all we've been through together, I made a promise to take care of him, to save him, to make sure he was alright. I wanted to share all his pains as well as all his joys. He was my whole universe and he would never get to know it.

Getting into his bed, I put my arms around his chest and held him so tight I was afraid he'd break. Tears were now all over his shirt as I whispered:

\- Please Mr. Frodo, stay with me. I love you. I love you so much…

The hurt of my hearth was showing all over my face.

I suddenly heard a mumble. I looked up. His eyes were slightly open and were giving me a confused gaze.

\- Sam…?

I cupped his face in my hands.

\- Mr. Frodo! Thanks god you're alive!

I hugged him even tighter. It was such a relief. I felt as if as a huge burden had been removed from my chest. Thanks god, thanks god!

\- It's such a relief, Mr. Frodo! I thought you were death!

\- Sam, why are you here? he faintly whispered.

\- I am here because you hurt yourself obviously! You though I wouldn't care? Why did you do this?

Tears were slipping from his weeping eyes.

\- I…I couldn't live in here anymore. I don't belong here Sam.

\- Yes you do. Yes you do, Mr. Frodo. I will help you. You are not alone. Let me be with you. My thumbs were stroking his cheeks as I said that.

He looked away. His expression was full of sorrow. I removed my hands from his face. He must have been uncomfortable with that contact. Maybe it was a good thing I didn't profess my feelings after all. That would have made him embarrassed. He had to deal with much greater troubles.

\- You cannot take care of me Sam. Not this time. It's not my place to be here. I'm a burden for everyone and especially for you. You will soon be married. I don't want to waste your life, he breathed.

\- Married? I'm not married, I said confused.

\- Well, Rosie, Sam, he murmured.

\- I didn't proposed to her, I sighed.

\- Really? I was sure you did... I don't understand…, he mumbled.

\- I don't think she's the one after all. There's some things I don't feel like I do when… hum. Well, anyway.

He suddenly looked curious. Oh my god, I shouldn't have said that. It just had came out of my mouth without thinking.

\- When what, Sam?

\- When I, hum, when…

I was extremely shy to tell. But, anyway, if he died from his wounds tonight, I wanted him to know.

\- I'm with you , I said.

He looked right into my eyes with a faint smile and teary eyes. Heavy butterflies were flowing into my chest. He was so beautiful with his pale skin and deep blue eyes. I couldn't speak no more. His face had rarely been so close to mine. I felt lost in his gaze. So much I wanted to kiss him.

\- What do you mean, Sam? he asked. His cheeks had turned softly pink.

\- I mean that, hum, I like you more than a friend, Mr. Frodo. No one else can make me feel the way I do. I can't bear the idea of us being apart.

There was a brief silence between us. I was terrified he'd put me off.

He surprised me as he suddenly put his arms around me and held me tight.

\- Oh Sam, I love you. After all we've been through, I can't imagine my life without you. My life is too hard to bear in your absence. I tough you would never share my feelings. That's why I tried to…

He stopped talking. I had kissed his cheek. It was the sweetest feeling. His skin was so warm and soft. I wanted to kiss him again. I was hardly processing what he'd just told me. So he loved me too?

\- Is that true Mr. Frodo? I whispered as I pressed my lips on his face again.

\- Oh Sam…He whispered.

I slowly made my way from his cheek to his forehead. Kissing every inch of his skin. His eyes were close and his mouth slightly open. I gently peck his eyelids.

\- I love you too Mr. Frodo. You are my love, my soul, my everything. Let me take care of you.

He put his hands around my neck and looked at me deeply. I felt hypnotized by his face. I leaned forward and gently pressed my lips against his. He shivered and kissed me back, adding a little bit more passion into it. That taste of him…I wanted to melt into him. I wanted to drown myself in his mouth. That would be the most wonderful death. I kept pressing my lips on his again and again like my life depended on it. I could have done that forever. Our hands were dancing on each other's body slowly undressing each other. I wanted to be close to him, so close we'd make one. It was never enough. We made love, passionate, pure love. Reality didn't matter to us anymore. It was like there was a veil upon us creating a world of our own. In this reality, our souls finally found each other, creating a feeling of pure bliss. I placed a last tender kiss on his forehead and we fell asleep, dreaming of each other's smile. Never wanting to let go…


	3. Chapter3: My love

**POV- Frodo**

The next morning, I woke up feeling extremely week and dizzy. Suddenly, I felt an unusual feeling of warm on my skin. I opened my eyes and saw a piece of his skin. All last night came back to me in a flash. I smiled and put my arms tighter around him. Even though my wrist was still terribly painful, his skin felt like satin under my fingers. I was so glad that now I could touch him, kiss him, feel him. I blushed. That last night we had discovering each other's bodies…Even so, I couldn't believe yet what he just told me. So all that time he loved me too? Why? I wasn't like him. I had nothing special. I felt so grateful he came to me. He was part of my destiny. He was my angel and my saver. I reach my hand to brush his cheek. He always looked so beautiful when he was asleep. I gently pressed my lips against his and then went all the way down his neck.

\- Good morning my love, I murmured in his ear.

I felt his arms reclosing around me and he run his fingers in my hair.

\- Mmmorning, , he mumbled.

I laughed. He never was a morning person. His both hands went on my face and he looked into my eyes. I sighed. He was so adorable with morning face and his messy hair.

\- You slept well, Mr. Frodo?

\- Yes, I slept wonderfully well. Better that I did in a long time.

He took my hand and placed it on his chest. We looked at each other like this for a moment. I had never felt so delighted. It was just like we were both laying in heaven.

\- I love you Sam, I said, I'm so glad you're here with me.

\- I love you too, Mr. Frodo. I wish I could stay here forever, he responded.

\- Oh, please do.

\- But, please, he said putting my hand a little bit more firmly on his chest, please don't ever hurt yourself again . Reach to me first. Would you promise me that you will never do that to yourself again?

He looked a bit mad. I felt ashamed. It was an act of despair that I deeply regretted now. A permanent solution for temporary feelings.

\- Oh Sam, if I had knew what your feelings were for me, I would never have done that. I promise you, my love,that I will never try to hurt myself again. As long as you're with me, I know you will be there.

\- I'll be glad to, he responded.

A new chapter of our lives had just started. We would live with each other like husband and wife. We would even go an adventures together. As long as I got him, I knew my life had a purpose.

The End.


End file.
